A road map to Kristian Hansen and fun stuff.

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Cold Snow In Sun Valley Idaho

The Hansen Report is busy up in Idaho for the remainder of 2012. I am here documenting life in Sun Valley and its surrounding towns until January 1st when I fly back to the SF Bay Area. My friend Jessie had a spare seat and extra room at the Ranch, so on December 26th it was hard for me to deny an awesome trip out of California. A wonderful respite from reality. Huge Thank You for the invite!!! 

Observations are that it is rather cold, lots of white snow, horses, open land, valleys, mountains and chickens. That’s right! Chickens! At my friend’s ranch there are some cute chickens who are being housed during the winter in the barn. Barns are amazing, they are large, warm, protective and awesome. If you can have a barn on your property I would recommend it. A sound investment. 

We played Apples to Apples tonight ( I won the first round) and had a healthy, vegetable laced dinner to boot and a kale salad with candied walnuts! 

Tomorrow we will head to the slopes. I am a bit rusty on snowboarding, but I hope to fall back into it. We’ll see how this goes, but I know I am not 18 any more.

Hope everyone is enjoying their Holiday time, regardless of their beliefs or disbeliefs.

More to come…

Demand a Plan and Stop the Violence

Congratulations are in order to my wonderful teammates Joey and Nitty from Every Hole is a Goal!  We won the San Francisco Brewskeeball Championships this past Sunday. It was a grueling Fall Season with some ups and downs. But in the end we followed through strong. It takes intensity, skill, team diversity and ambition to become the 2-Time defending champions. I would personally like to thank Nitty for being a wonderful team leader this skeeson. Joey, who is an inspiration all unto himself, rolled with charisma and cat-like prowess.  We do not know what will come next, but hijinks and happiness will follow without saying. Thank you to Triv and everyone in the SF League for making Skeeball such a fun sport. You all Rock and Happy Holidaze (from an Athiest no-less)!!

Congratulations are in order to my wonderful teammates Joey and Nitty from Every Hole is a Goal! 

We won the San Francisco Brewskeeball Championships this past Sunday. It was a grueling Fall Season with some ups and downs. But in the end we followed through strong. It takes intensity, skill, team diversity and ambition to become the 2-Time defending champions.

I would personally like to thank Nitty for being a wonderful team leader this skeeson. Joey, who is an inspiration all unto himself, rolled with charisma and cat-like prowess. 

We do not know what will come next, but hijinks and happiness will follow without saying.

Thank you to Triv and everyone in the SF League for making Skeeball such a fun sport.

You all Rock and Happy Holidaze (from an Athiest no-less)!!

Inside these three bike boxes are the components to build out an entire Cottage Coop, including a run. It was an idea I had six months ago to revolutionize the logistical issues apparent with chicken coop manufacture and delivery logistics. The key issue was always that it was prohibitively expensive to ship a pallet to residential addresses. In the shipping world, you need a lift gate to get pallets, unless you have a loading dock ( which we do not have at the yard). Then once the shipping company has your items, they need to deliver to a residential address (more money) and they need to use another truck with a lift gate ( $$$ more money) to get the product to your front porch or driveway. Bike boxes solve this issue. We get our boxes from local bike shops in Mill Valley. These type of large boxes would normally cost about $30-40 to buy new. Bike shops have a waste problem and storage issues for all of their used boxes. Keeping in the philosophy of reducing waste, which is what our company stands for, it was decided to attempt coop shipments in this type of container. Yesterday we proved to ourselves at Laughing Chickens that our design and my theory works. Sometimes I feel like The Einstein of the feathers.

Inside these three bike boxes are the components to build out an entire Cottage Coop, including a run.

It was an idea I had six months ago to revolutionize the logistical issues apparent with chicken coop manufacture and delivery logistics.

The key issue was always that it was prohibitively expensive to ship a pallet to residential addresses. In the shipping world, you need a lift gate to get pallets, unless you have a loading dock ( which we do not have at the yard). Then once the shipping company has your items, they need to deliver to a residential address (more money) and they need to use another truck with a lift gate ( $$$ more money) to get the product to your front porch or driveway.

Bike boxes solve this issue.

We get our boxes from local bike shops in Mill Valley. These type of large boxes would normally cost about $30-40 to buy new. Bike shops have a waste problem and storage issues for all of their used boxes.

Keeping in the philosophy of reducing waste, which is what our company stands for, it was decided to attempt coop shipments in this type of container.

Yesterday we proved to ourselves at Laughing Chickens that our design and my theory works.

Sometimes I feel like The Einstein of the feathers.

Just Say NO (to work)!

We are chugging along at the yard right now. Despite the rain, some flooding due to the King’s Tide and darkness descending at earlier intervals - we are pumping out hen houses and chicken coops like nobody’s business.

Its fascinating to see the company grow. Each day at Laughing Chickens we are facing new problems and tackling more projects. 

Today, I had to turn down a design proposal because I calculated that it was not in our sweet spot. In the beginning, we were so eager to garner attention that the possibility for more work wet my appetite. But today, in our daily grind, our production orders take precedence. I have to find focus and realize where our core competencies lie. It is just as important for me to understand my strengths as it is for me to grow with my weaknesses.

Our client wanted to know if I could design a production model beehive from reclaimed redwood. Although at first I was thinking “Damn, that would be so cool to make beehives” I had to also consider that I am not a beehive specialist. Not just that, but as I started to read about bees and the components in a hive, I started to realize the complexity of the product. Would I be building the trays or outsourcing them? How waterproof do these need to be? How will I get it to stack? Do bees like redwood? How will this effect my production of hen houses, raised beds, chalkboards, customer service and the logistics of my day-to-day? Can I make money off of this design? How many back-and-forths will I have to have before my design is approved?

This particular problem will come up again and again as my clients push me to new limits. I would like to think that at some point I can come back to the beehive proposition. To build an awesome apiary is going to take time, research and a little bit of luck. 

Saying no is not a bad thing. You can not be everything to everyone. The sooner you figure out where your specialty is, the sooner you can nail it.

Stupid Idea for Drunk Drivers

http://www.marinij.com/novato/ci_22180274/dui-checkpoints-set-san-rafael-novato

Now I know we all recognize that drunk driving is a serious hazard to the lives and health of everyone within striking distance of a motorized vehicle. 

But what I do not understand is why checkpoints for drunk driving have to be publicly posted to warn drivers.

Why should we be posting signs to tell drunks to not drive through an area?

There are proponents to this idea, who say that it is racial profiling. Such as, Why are the police posting drunk driving tests in area A or B ( which happen to be predominately of foreign nature in their nature), and not the rich white people areas?

Well, Marin Police, Why are you not posting units in Tiburon or Belvedere, Sausalito or Fairfax?? 

For one reason or another ( and I am not privy to this information), the police department targets hispanic neighborhoods known for IRS problems and under the influence drivers. 

I can not say that is wrong to pullover drunk drivers, but I DO think they should pullover and poach white drivers too, especially people in Ross, Belveder, Tiburon, Mill Valley and Larkspur. There are other cities too, but this is where a majority of my family and friends live in Marin County.

San Francisco Skeeball Taken By Storm

That’s right kids, my skeeball team dominated the lanes over at Buckshot Bar for another skeeson. We won the Sunday night league and will receive the Pint Trophy.

We had the highest average in the SF league (and the country, better than NYC, Wilmington or Austin) against some fierce competition - and that is across all three nights (Sunday, Tuesday, Wednesday). 

In the end - Black Devil (my alter skee-go) won for the Most Full Circles against all players in San Francisco, with 18 Fullies. A Full Circle is when you roll ALL 9 Balls into the 40 pocket, earning yourself 360 points or a Full Circle (360 degrees in a circle). It takes a steady hand and years of practice. I had some friendly competition from my teammate Massive Titties (from Two Rivers Cider fame). He was also our Team Leader, President, CEO, Mascot and Team Fashion Stylist. Thank you for a great Skeeson Nitty!!!

Joey the Cat really stepped it up this Skeeson too. He won the title for multiple arenas, including Highest Average Roller, Chip Winner and High5 Rolls. Without his game play, sportsmanship and dedication to all things Skee - we wouldn’t have had such a high average.

As we head into the post-skeeson this Wednesday at the Buckshot we aim for the stars. On Sunday, at the Championships, I hope we sweep the field. We roll long, we roll hard, Every Hole is a Goal!

Laughing Chickens in LA Weekly

Last week Laughing Chickens was featured in LA Weekly !

Get the article here.

November Coops

December 7th Shipment

Loaded and Ready for Distribution

I can’t stress enough how proud I am for my team and the hard work that everyone puts in at the yard.

The last two weeks have been rad, as we have been shipping out coops across the country (see pictures above). We have also started to ship out 22-Inch Flower Boxes - all built from reclaimed redwood, lightly sanded and stained with linseed-oil. We are working against the elements, time and the high standard of excellence that we strive to accomplish for our products, yet we get it done. 

Do What You Love

In 1997, the rave/rage group The Prodigy released an offensive track entitled “Smack My Bitch Up” which, when I was 15 years old I thought was really awesome. 

The music video was banned from MTV due to its content. It was rather hard to get banned from MTV back in 97’. For two years I dressed up as the Firestarter dude with double-spiked hair.

Fast forward to today and there is a new version of the video uploaded onto YouTube. I can’t stop laughing. Its a bit extreme, but that is what the Prodigy was all about. 

If you know the original version and the context surrounding it, then I think you will appreciate the gravity of the re-imagined 2012 version.

MASH SF: HISTORIC POLO FIELDS: GOLDEN GATE PARK

mashsf:

With much fanfare, the first bicycle arrived in San Francisco from Paris in 1876. By the late 1890s, bicycles were inexpensive due to replaceable rubber tires and inner tubes, and mass-produced parts, including high-quality chains. Bicycles were popular and fashionable; they became instant…

If you recall the alleycat bike race I threw a few years back, The Tourist Trap, the Polo Fields is exactly where I started the whole thing.