Hansen Report

Is Miley Cyrus Mildly Retarded?

Tue, 15 Sep 2009 00:27:11 -0700

One of my favorite teen idols was interviewed the other day regarding her new fashion line with Target. The number of times she said “like” quickly became more than the digits on both my hands and feet, which led me to think - Is Miley Cyrus mildly retarded?

Boy Scout Eagle Project

Fri, 11 Sep 2009 19:00:48 -0700

Truth is I have been slacking big time with the Hansen Report. But today I was happy to spot a news story worth publishing on the site. It reminded me of my Eagle Project with BSA and how it is becoming harder and harder for fledgling Life Scouts to come up with interesting projects.

12-Year-Old Boy Scouts Volunteer To Give Women Breast Exams

Happy Fourth from Trackstand.com

Sat, 04 Jul 2009 13:11:11 -0700

Hope everyone is having a great weekend.

Out here in San Francisco we are celebrating the weekend with QCR - Quake City Rumble Six. Three days of racing, bbqs and beer.

Tomorrow marks the Mountain Lion Alleycat. Lots of hills, speed and misery.

Stay healthy and have fun!

-Kristian

Michael Jackson Tribute from the Hansen Report

Wed, 01 Jul 2009 14:23:41 -0700

Won’t we all just miss the King of Pop?

Here is a video I made to commemorate this very fragmented individual.

SFBC Doubles the Number of Bike Lanes

Tue, 30 Jun 2009 15:40:23 -0700

San Francisco has doubled the number of bike lanes (or at least has gained approval for this action) through the lobbying efforts of thousands of SF cyclists. This is awesome.

The impetus for this great act was the rallying efforts of the San Francisco Bicycle Coalition.

It was my pleasure to wake up at the un-godly hour of 7 am last Friday to lend my support to the community and this spirited project.

The resolution passed 45 projects around the city. Kudos to all the volunteers and citizens of San Francisco.

I took a few pictures, but they pretty much sucked, so please refer to the “official” flickr photos embedded by the SFBC.

Berlin Photos: ECMC 2009

Wed, 24 Jun 2009 11:42:30 -0700

Its taken a week of recuperating, but finally I am ready to start an actual recounting of the Anarchy of Berlin.

Here are some photos of the city.

Travelling Circus: Berlin to Gorzow to Wroclaw to Warsaw

Wed, 10 Jun 2009 06:17:28 -0700

Last week was spent cycling through Poland.

We began the journey with 12 riders representing Polish, Australian, American, Irish, British and Dutch messengers. The journey was incredible. Cycling 150km (not 130km) we made it to Poland in one cohesive unit.

The first night we had an alleycat in Gorzow and approximately 35 people came out for the race. I came in 7th overall, which considering the 150km from earlier in the day, I was quite proud of.

The next day we rode some 40km to a small village town of Podogze. There were literally 6 houses in the entire village. We partied in a barn.

Day three we drove cars 300km South to Wroclaw. This town is simply amazing, beautiful and scenic. This was the first night of the PCMC - Polish Cycle Messenger Championships 2009. The crowd swelled now from our small group of 12 to 150 people.

The accomodations for Wroclaw were in these shitty five person bungalows. The walls would creak and shake if you simply placed your back or hand against it for support.

The main race was held in a park nearby. The checkpoints were in the shape of a fish, with each checkpoint named after a part of the fish - dorsalis, fin, etc.

Harry Potter (David) from London got 3rd place, which considering he was from our original group of 12 was really awesome. That night, the disco monkey (Said) got stoned out of his mind. He was insane (lots of video footage to prove it).

Following this we went to the velodrome for individual sprints and Australian racing. Our very own Aussie in residence, Brian Wagner, stole the show and won a brand new track frame. Stavo won the Australian scratch and took home a frame for himself too.

This was supposed to be the end… or was it?

The Warsaw Car Killers Crew - Kaspio Couriers wanted to take the party home. Seeing that a couple of us still had time to kill and zlati to burn we decided to head further east.

The last two days have been spent exploring Warsaw and its nightlife. Its an awesome city, good food, cheap beer and a nonsensical sylabic language.

te hu ya ya bunny!

Photos and Videos to follow.

The pictures and videos that accompanied this portion and the ensuing mayhem will be made available in short order.

Berlin to Gorzów to Wrocław

Tue, 02 Jun 2009 04:11:00 -0700

Yesterday marked the end of ECMC 2009 in Berlin.

Amidst all the chaos and fun of the race emerges another amazing opportunity, Poland.

There never were any real plans for this trip. It was quite simply done to get a better idea about the European Track Bike/Fixed Gear scene. I wanted to find out about new companies, emerging trends and gain a better ‘global’ perspective on the state of the scene.

Trackstand is in its most raw essence a company devoted towards remaining on the edge in terms of everything track bike related.

So, yesterday I was invited to join a gang of messengers on a 130km group ride/race from Berlin to Gorzów, Poland. From Gorzów we will take a train 200km to Wrocław (Breslau). This weekend marks the 10 year anniversary of the first alleycat in Poland. It will include a 5 day party in three cities. This will culminate in the Polish Bike Messenger Championships. 10-5-3 is their motto.

We will have a support vehicle carrying our bags. There will be tents for us to use and the race entry fee is only 6 Euros.

The expectation for this leg of the trip is to explore the great unknown with a mötley crew of messengers spread from throughout the globe. Supposedly there are some guys from Japan, Germany, maybe some Americans and the Polish messengers.

Hansen Report from Berlin

Mon, 01 Jun 2009 07:27:13 -0700

Its been an amazing, exciting and wet week here in the German Capital City of Berlin.

Over 450 bike messengers from all over the world have come to the 14th Annual ECMCs.

Here are some shots.

More videos and photos to follow. This is just a teaser.

New Intro for Trackstand Daily

Thu, 21 May 2009 16:50:00 -0700

My hat goes off to Andrew Herrold for the new Trackstand intro video for the new web series I plan on doing regarding all things track bike related.

What do you think?

Discover Simple, Private Sharing at Drop.io

Most Recent Bernalamo Video Up: Bay to Breakers

Thu, 21 May 2009 16:18:06 -0700

Thanks to Amy Ziari for throwing together this awesome video about the Bay to Breakers 2009.

Joey and I were away filming new episodes in Richmond Virginia. Those videos should be up shortly. Until then, please take a peek at Amy, our new Bernalamo Special Correspondent!

Richmond Virginia: Notes from the road

Sun, 17 May 2009 12:26:00 -0700

This really happened!

Wed, 13 May 2009 12:26:42 -0700

Tourist Trap San Francisco, May 10th

Wed, 06 May 2009 11:15:29 -0700

Lots of blog posts this week. Makes me wonder why I stopped updating in the first place.

This weekend Trackstand is hosting the first, of what I hope will be an annual, Tourist Trap Alleycat.

The race website is up over at http://touristtrapsf.com

It starts at 2pm in Golden Gate Park at the Polo Fields. After party to follow at Madrone Lounge (500 Divisadero @ Fell Street).

We have some awesome sponsors lined up.

Should be a blast!

Bernalamo Episode 6: Real World

Wed, 06 May 2009 11:10:28 -0700

This video was tons of fun to shoot. Joey and I had a blast running around my apartment and shooting the Pots and Pans portion.

Be on the look out for a new Bernalamo Cribs sometime soon highlighting Joey’s posh pad in Bernal Heights.

Anneliese Hansen is my sister, not yours!

Tue, 05 May 2009 18:03:55 -0700

For once (or the third time) I am going to be a pageview whore.

Link to the video.

Thats right I will capitalize on my sister and her boyfriend’s luck at the Lottery for the sake of page views on my tumblr website.

Just imagine you were the brother of someone who won $75.8 Million United States Dollars. Imagine you were Kristian Hansen.

It doesn’t actually matter, what you imagine, because if you were me (and now we are getting hyper-hypothetical) than you would just be happy for your sibling.

One of the coolest things that could possibly ever happen, happened to Liese.

Brian and her buy lottery tickets occassionally. It just so happens that they won. Not $1 million or $5 million, but a whole fucking $75 Million big ones.

I share in their happiness and joy.

Funnier even still is reading about their win through blogs and on websites. They had a freaking press conference. How cool is that shit?

Most of all I am proud of my sister and Brian for doing the right thing. Instead of going out and blowing money on unneeded materialistic things, they are opting to help out the Oakland families that lost their valiant Police Officer husbands in last months’ deadly gunfight. I am certain they will remain level-headed and keep a low profile.

Good luck!

Love,

Kristian “the awesome” Hansen

Kanye West : Gay Fish

Fri, 10 Apr 2009 16:13:38 -0700

Apparently Kanye is not very happy about this South Park Episode. I thought it was pretty funny.

Of course Viacom has taken down pretty much every link on the internet.

New Bernalamo Episode: Smells Like Spring Spirit

Mon, 30 Mar 2009 13:08:07 -0700

New video that Joey and I shot in Dolores Park over the weekend about Spring time.

Enjoy!

Episode 2 from Bernalamo on Vimeo.

New Awesome Video on Bernalamo.com

Tue, 24 Mar 2009 02:30:12 -0700

Kyle's Bike is fucked

Mon, 16 Mar 2009 15:38:51 -0700

My buddy Kyle Bragger was struck by a cab in NYC last Friday while riding (with front brake).

He did not break any bones, but it sounds like he will have to take some physical therapy.

Lets hope he gets better quickly and that a good settlement is reached with both the driver and driving service.

Get well Soon!!!

Picture hosted on Twitpic:

http://twitpic.com/25wet